Monthly Archives: January 2009

I can’t remember how long it took me to realize how I would live my last year on earth. Was it just seconds after the pastor mentioned the question? Or did I ponder on it for days after? I can’t seem to remember a lot of things recently, except for all the meetings I’ve been jotting down in my little, black planner. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Upon hearing the question, here’s what I’ve realized, what I’ve come up with.

2009 is going to be my last year here. True, 20 years on planet earth isn’t a long time, compared to those who’ve lived past a hundred. Nevertheless, I find myself blessed for being given the chance to live life as a mortal.

As I look back on the kind of life I’ve lived, I remember a number of times I felt proud being me — awards, appreciation for the little things, helping others. But I also remembered a number of things I’d rather forget — being a push over, lying, hurting other people. My life was lived with both memorable and undesirable moments, the undesirables I hoped didn’t exist. Then again, what’s done is done and had I not lived through those bad memories, I wouldn’t be who I am now. With just a year left to live, I want to turn the tables, shuffle the deck, roll the dice, whatever what-nots you want to call it.

I will no longer be enchanting boys, which means, I will sort of be revoking my being a goddess. I will still be Celadon’s official goddess but outside of it, I will start living life as a mortal. I’ve drained myself enough the last year and I’d like to actually live my life this time. No more games, no more boys. Let’s get serious.

With games out of the way, I will focus all my energy in working for my one and only beloved org. I want to give it my 100% all year round and get to know more of the people who make it up. I feel so blessed for all the new friends I made last year that I want to make sure my last year on earth would feel as blessed as last year’s. I’m so happy to have found all these people and I’d like to return the favor.

Speaking of being drained, I’ll be sleeping earlier this time around! I’m slowly getting the hang of being responsible a.k.a. home-school-home, no tv, less net usage, and more sleep! I’ve been exercising too — walking from the house to a jeepney station somewhere in Sta. Lucia, a few kilometers. I hope to lose weight, be healthy, and produce ZERO pimples from now on! Hahaha.

With the little time I’ve left, I’d like to spend it improving my relationship with God. He’s been so faithful and good and I can’t just let it go. He was there when a lot of people weren’t so in my last year, I want to be there for Him.

2008 was a very bumpy year for me but 2009 will be better. Because I’ll make it better. It’s time to shine — no more boys, no more late nights, no more stress; more friends, more responsibility, more happiness. Oh, and, fine fine..

As for love, if it comes, let it. But there will be no more waiting, no more playing, no more hurting for me. Love should make a person happy not sad.

Cheers to 2009!