Monthly Archives: September 2008

Had a meeting for our LS paper due next week, on the same day as my Chinese Gov and Pol term paper’s deadline, which I haven’t started. Dead. I can’t believe I’ve so much work to do this week and my body’s malfunctioning again. I can’t seem to sleep later than usual and wake up as early. Uh-oh. Then there’s the accounting homework due this Saturday, studying for accounting to get the 60 points I need to pass, philosophizing, memorizing around a hundred Chinese characters to pass Chinese, review the rights and duties of the Chinese people for Chinese Gov and Pol. Oh, and the Chinese philo paper. Ugh, stressed. I also met up with Honeh and Francis a while ago for my IC for Celadon. At least one good thing happened:

Our IC turned into a bonding session as well when we started talking about our lives. They got to meet he-who-shan’t-be-named as well, though they only met his back because he was walking away! Hahaha. But Francis got to see his face because he followed him to the parking lot! Another hahaha. But, I won’t say what he said anymore. All I can say is.. I must be really blind. 😐

Now, about leaving or staying. Francis told me about the AFICS night on October 18 after Exceladon, which included information about hot guys who’ll be attending, and Honey about the EvSem. I’m leaving on the 13th and coming back on the 8th but could this be the reason for my staying? I really want to go to the EvSem and Francis’ speech about the AFICS night is very, very, very tempting. But will I be able to forget everything if I stay? Assuming I’d get to meet quite a few “hot” guys, will there be something in that, enough to make me forget? As for the EvSem, I do hope it’ll be some time in November so I can just adjust my coming back schedule. I really want to gooooo! But I also want to forget. I think he’s doing it, so I should too. *Referring to his current YM stat about remembering something he SWORE he’d forget. Ouch.* Going away is the only way. Unless, as I’ve said before, a miraculous reason pops up. Please show yourself, oh damn good reason. Please.

Side comment: He’s here again. Good lord. I’m dying. 😦

Side side comment: Ooh.. This is my 29th entry dated on the 29th of the month! Woohoo! Wala lang. :p

I have never seen some of these kids so happy. And can you blame them? They’ve been waiting a long time for this moment. And there at the center of it all is Whitey Durham standing alone, taking it all in. Ladies and gentlemen, the Tree Hill Ravens are champions at last. And there’s not a dry eye in the house.

-Announcer, One Tree Hill 409 “Some You Give Away”

The last time I felt good about being soaked in the rain happened 10 months ago. During that time, the mud, the floodwater, the long walk, didn’t matter. I was happy being soaked, being muddy, walking for a long time. I thought I’d never feel good about being soaked sooner. But looky here! After being drenched in the rain, walking from the LRT station to Ateneo to catch my LS class, feet soaked in floodwater (eeew), I felt okay. I felt good. I felt happy. Nope. No one has surprised me with a very sweet kiss yet again, but..

Now, would you still mind being soaked if you just came from a winning championship game? *winks*

Guess not.

P.S. I finally got to attend church and take communion once again! Yay!

Most, if not all, of those who know me, know how much I want to be Chinese. How much I adore, love, admire those chinky-eyed, slim, white race. Ever since I saw Vic Zhou a.k.a. Hua Zhe Lei, I fell in love with them. I went through hours and hours, months and months of self-studying, just so I could write the words I love you in Chinese. My nose bled while watching numerous Chinese dramas, trying to understand what they were talking about or trying to recognize the characters in the subtitle. Up to this day, I patiently endure hours of nose bleeds trying to improve my understanding of their language. I am part of my school’s Chinese-Filipino org. The only org I actively participate in. I straightened my hair, cut my bangs, looked for good Chinese restos to eat in. I even started researching about my family’s bloodline, in hopes of finding a teeny-weeny drop of Chinese blood somewhere. Basically, it screams out, “I wanna be Chinese!”

It wasn’t just about Vic. Yes, I fell head over heels for him in Meteor Garden. He was so cute. So adorable. So hot in a conservative kind of way, but I eventually got to know the Chinese more as time passed by. I found out how hard working they are, how respectful they are, how thrifty they are — qualities I wish I possessed. Yes, I learned them but there still are times when they get overlooked at home. Especially with all the craziness that’s been going on with my family. *sigh* So as I got to know them — more of their traditions, their way of life, I began to adapt some of their customs and traditions and everything else. That’s why all my friends know me as a Chinese lover. I even thought about being involved in an arranged marriage. How it would feel, how it works, how it will end up for me. A bit crazy, I know. But I really am curious about it and because I’ve been hurt quite a few times now that maybe having someone chosen for me is my only way out (though that would be a bit ironic since arranged marriages have no way out).

My friends think they’re all I think of. That they’re my kind of people, my relatives. They think I really get along well with people if they’re Chinese or that I’m really happy when I’m with Chinese friends. They think I agree with all their opinions, customs, etc. because of what they are. Chinese. Yes, most of the things I stated are true, but there are some things my friends don’t know about me and my relationship with the Chinese. I fear them a bit. Not the people per se but the customs, the traditions, etc.

I may appear optimistic, unaffected, jolly, whenever I see a cute Chinese boy, but when the feeling gets serious, meaning, from HC to SC, everything changes. Truth be told, the whole you-must-be-Chinese issue hits me hard. That’s one of the things I never want to experience when I fall in love. I may say, “Whatever. It’s looooove,” but deep inside, I pray that if I do fall in love with a Chinese, I wouldn’t have to encounter that kind of situation. Even with friends, I fear the same thing. I’m scared of being rejected by the families of my friends because I’m not really Chinese.

Please don’t get me wrong. My relationship with my Chinese friends are good. Really good. I’ve nothing against them. I still think they’re the best! I just want my other friends to know that I’m not an obsessed, Chinese-loving girl. I see the same things they see, the same things they notice about them but I just really admire them.

• If I’m not mistaken, Sir Chan was talking about the “discounts” you seem to get when companies advertise their products using the “50% off” or “you save P2,000” scheme here. Do you really get a discount? If it’s too good to be true, something is wrong meaning, the price was probably marked up thrice to make it seem like you’re getting a discount when in reality, you’re not. You buy them because you think you got it reasonably then you realize you don’t really need it after all.

• This is how the Chinese do business: They will only do things/invest to those that affect their cash inflow. They won’t replace the office’s carpet thinking of it as an asset, something that will reap future benefit. They will only consider spending cash if cash, in return, can be expected. How is this not just about LS again? Well, it was what he discussed after, in relation to this.
  

• He told us a story about a married couple who relied on the guy’s parents for their financial needs. When the parents passed away, he was left with his inheritance, which he had no idea what to do with. So.. No looking at balance sheets. Don’t look at a guy depending on how much he already has but on how much he can make.