See you in a different way.
I can’t say yet, if I truly miss you or if I’m just feeling lonely.
But I do think I’m beginning to miss you. 🙂
I just hope this doesn’t end up badly.
Got a secret
Can you keep it?
-Secret, The Pierces
No, I’m not Gossip Girl. Just your usual, beat-up girl. But beat-up girl I shall be no more.
I was just watching Gossip Girl when I realized something I should have months ago. Girls go as far as the east is from the west when it comes to love. They can change, do anything for that one special boy. But if there’s one thing boys out there should know, it’s this: Girls who change the most, hurt the most, retaliate the worst.
I’m an introvert by nature but I have those times. Those times where I get enough courage to speak up and meet new people. That’s how I met my new friends. Through courage and a little lapse in my being an introvert. I guess you could all say I became a social butterfly in the world of introverts.
All that changed when I met him.
I locked myself up in his world. Had little or no time for friends. I practically gave up my social life to be with him. For what? So all my friends can pity me when he starts showing off another girl? Oh no, you don’t.
Not bitter anymore. I was just reminded of this whole situation with the last episode of Gossip Girl I’ve seen. Dan dates new girl without telling S? Sounds kinda familiar. Serena hid but eventually realized it’s time to go back to who she was. At least the one Dan believed her to be — one of those mean Upper Eastsiders. A changed girl, hurt? Tsk tsk. Be careful.
I won’t go all bitchy on him. Just that, yeah. I think it’s about time I returned to my friends. Be that on-top-of-the-world girl again. Not the used, abused, under dog. I can do better.
Watch out, M. You might just get a dose of your own medicine.
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you wanted the same for me.
-Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy
1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..”
As it should be. If you’re not interested, don’t give the other person a reason to believe you might be. In short, huwag kang mag-paasa.
2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”
How I wish I heard of this before the 26th of June. *sigh*
3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”
4. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”
5. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”
Oo nga naman. Pero siymepre, di mo pwedeng pilitin ang mga paa mong maglakad kung gusto talaga nitong tumayo lang. Kaya kahit siksikan, elevator ka. Tulad ng di mo kayang pilitin ang puso mong magmahal ng iba.
6. “Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Dapat lumandi ka din.”
7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”
8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”
9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”
Can’t argue with that.
10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”
11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo ay magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”
Very true. I learned this the hard way but it was worth it. Or guys could just stop being too nice or paasa or pa-fall. 🙂
12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”
13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”
14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya.”
15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”
Again, I wish I heard of #2 before I turned my back on him.
16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”
17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
19. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.”
I just realized how I may be hurting others too. As Bob Ong said, “Kung hindi mo mahal yung tao, huwag ka magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.” During the time I was hurting, someone actually noticed me. But I wasn’t interested. He tried but I just didn’t feel it. I used to tease him as my future boyfriend, along with other boy friends I had. When I found out he liked me, I felt so guilty. Could it be because of my teasing? I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t know what to do. So I stopped giving him possible reasons to think otherwise. But after him, I’m beginning to think I’ve made the same damn mistake with another one as well. I know I shouldn’t trust my feelings ’cause they are never correct but, I have this feeling that someone else might’ve developed the same thing Boy #1 developed for me. I just hope this feeling is wrong as well. Lately, I’ve noticed that one of them might be taking my jokes seriously. He keeps on praising the goodies I bake and has recently been quite frustrated whenever I said I can’t or no. I don’t mind really but I just don’t want to give him the wrong idea. I know how hard it is to live after assuming a certain someone likes you. I don’t want to be a paasa girl.
Sometimes, I wish guys could just be straightforward and frank. Not because I’m impatient or mayabang, just so we can avoid wrong assumptions. I know I may sound a bit impatient, wanting guys who probably like me to just come forward with the truth, but I just want to make sure things don’t become more complicated. I’m just avoiding Boy #1’s situation from repeating itself.
Forgive this really vain entry. I sometimes think someone might actually like me. Someone I might not like the same way. I really don’t want others to feel the same way I did, thinking this person likes me, when he really doesn’t. I don’t want to be one of those pa-fall or paasa people. I think Bob Ong has affected me much.
As for the Nicholas Sparks’s quote, here it is. It’s something I found interesting because it somewhat explains something which others can’t.
-Adrienne, Nights in Rodanthe
We only got four minutes
To save the world.
-4 Minutes, Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake
This morning, at around 3 o’clock, I wanted to type an entry about my phone conversation with my Dad — regarding the recent breakdown I had. But I felt tired since it was already three in the morning and I had just cried for an hour while talking to my Dad, plus that Sunday feeling I get — the I-don’t-feel-like-writing-anything feeling, maybe because it was already a Sunday. But this, I just need to express.
I’m thinking about using alternative names when blogging. Apparently, it brought trouble to one of my friends. Think, pseudo-names.
By the way, I just found out why I received an incomplete grade from one of my communication subjects from sophomore year. My professor hadn’t received any of the articles I submitted via e-mail. He was very kind to me and told me I could submit alternative articles so he can give me a grade other than INC or F. Journalism, welcome me back!
There’s no way
We’re gonna give up.
-Harder to Breathe, Maroon 5
Had a really fun and delicious dinner at Oma. Mark, Migs, Dan, Nox, and I shared two plates of sushi [forgot the name, Omakase Dynamite, I think and the other..], and a really big sushi platter. JSC, I think. Finally got to experience the Mark Food Experience — don’t eat with Mark if you’re really hungry! Hahaha. Still had lotsa fun! 😀 Too bad I wasn’t able to take a group shot. :c Found out Don was leaving pa naman. Left Oma at around 8:30 with Jess. Finally, someone who lives near my place, who’s not Gus! :))
Anyway, had a really fun time today despite my feeling sick last night and this morning. I think the Bioflu capsule I took, helped. Until next time, lovies!
Ain’t Celadon the best? Just nod. Better yet, say YES. 😉
Willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever.
-I Love You, Goodbye, Celine Dion
First off, welcome back Nox! One of my CelaBoys has returned! *celebrates* I hope you enjoyed and got something from your retreat. 🙂
Second, I’m so tired. I really do feel sick but I don’t want to be sick! :c I’m all psyched up to go to ExCeladon tomorrow. I want to sleep already so I can get some rest but my hair’s taking too long to dry. At least my milk tea with pearls [something new for me], is keeping me company.
Third, despite the distance, I know you’re still watching over me Isabel. 🙂 Enjoy Indonesia, okay? I’m dealing with quite a few problems here. Note: Academic problems. 😐
The past few days have been quite.. strange. Emotional ups and downs. Impulse buys. Irregular sleeping hours. However, I decided to make a difference today by treating my brother out to lunch. 🙂 Went to Flavors of China in Tomas Morato and got some Lemon Chicken, Dried Fish Fried Rice, and Nido Soup for the both of us. Plus, some almond jelly with lychee! *yumyumyum* It made me feel better. After going through emotional hell, bonding with my siblings always makes me feel much better. 🙂
I came up with a 2nd semester schedule draft. Here’s what my sched might look like this coming sem:
M-W-F
9:30-10:30 Chinese 4
11:30-12:30 Chinese History
3:30-4:30 Philosophy 2
T-Th
7:30-9:00 History 165
1:30-3:00 Eco 102
4:30-6:00 Theo 131
I have yet to finalize it because I still don’t know who’s good with what, when it comes to courses and professors.
My mom and I also had a decent talk today. It was pretty strange but nice. For once, she called without scolding any one of us for no reason. She did still call with nothing to say though, haha. Just asking if I was okay, ’cause she knows I only bake when I’m heartbroken. :[ That stupid comm subject I barely lived through two sems ago, is threatening my QPI with an F! I still don’t know why my professor gave me an INC grade. I submitted all requirements and got fair grades, not the highest, but more than just passing. I really hope I get to fix this. Wo bu yao F! :c
I just finished typing another blog entry in my Multiply. In Chinese! I blog in Chinese from time to time, to practice and make sure I remember characters. Do I construct Chinese sentences correctly in my blogs? I don’t know. That’s why I always ask the readers if my grammar or what I wrote is correct. Anyway, I’m not feeling any better. I need to rest now.
Random thought that crossed my mind a while ago: I still love you. But do I really? Or is it just because it’s that time of the month again?
Said I’ll always be your friend
Took an oath
I’ma stick it out
To the end.
-Umbrella, Boyce Avenue
For my second entry, I would just like to share that I am almost done baking. I started preparing the banana batter at 1 o’clock in the afternoon but had just placed it in the oven a couple of minutes ago. Encountered two problems: walnuts still weren’t home (as if they live here, haha); and the manual oven wouldn’t light up. I finally managed to fix/get both of them done and now, the batter will soon rise into a cake! As for the raisin oatmeal cookies, they’re almost done too. I, amazingly, was able to fit in two rectangular pans and one cookie sheet in our small, stovetop oven. 😀 😀 😀
For those who don’t know, I am making them for my Celadon family. And speaking of Celadon, I shall plug in one of our events, which will be held in the Ateneo Covered Courts tomorrow at 12 nn, the ExCeladon! It’s kinda like a sportsfest, sports competition, amongst the different Chinese-Filipino organizations in the universities here in Manila. Not sure which specific universities will be competing with us, though. Waaaaaaait! NEWSFLASH: Boey’s plurking! *really really really shocked*
Anyway, I shall go check my lovelies now. They might have burnt already while I was typing this entry. 🙂
You could just be the one
That got away.
-Wait for Love, Matt White
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice.
-Run, Snow Patrol
when pigs & penguins fly.. 