Why am I writing about this? I guess I’m a fan of good families. I don’t really believe fortune tellers but there’s one thing a certain psychic told me, which I am really looking forward to.
You will have a good family. Maybe three kids? Okay, maybe three’s too many. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I will have a good family in the future. To be perfectly honest, my moving in to the new house soon is adding to my excitement, to my anticipation of having my own family. I miss taking care of my siblings, though I wouldn’t really say it out loud. Our late night drives to the ATM, to the bookstore or to The Fort. As poor as I sometimes get (blame the bookstores, the dermatologist, and the food stores), I miss treating them out. That’s the only time I get to spend with family — whenever I treat them or either one of them to good food, games, or a movie. Maybe that’s why I’m a little to excited to have a family, or at least, someone to take care of again.Anyway, the ice cream’s here. Time to eat!
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush.
-One Step A Time, Jordin Sparks
Gaaaaah! Fuck. Screw this. Why do we leave people we love? Dammit! I hate loving you. Grrrrrrrrrr.
That I loved you more than you’ll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go.
-Blind, Lifehouse
I hope you’re okay. I guess that’s it.
Let’s take it slow.
-So Slow, Freestyle
In a moment,
Everything can change.
-Fly, Hilary Duff
Driving to school was a bad idea. I almost hit another car on my way out of the cornfield. Yes, just as I was about to leave the parking lot, I almost hit another car. The drive home was somewhat pleasant, or so I think. I felt dazed (?), I dunno. I didn’t hit any car, it just felt better than driving out of the parking lot. I felt bipolar too. Driving slow, so slow that the car behind me was honking at me, then when I got out of Ateneo, after the UP U-turn, I just started speeding up. Maybe I just am tired. During Gus’s event, I was tired too. I just felt really, really tired. I feel bad for Diane because she worries a lot. Maybe it’s just this week in general that’s making me tired. It’s almost done anyway. Just one more day and this week will be over. I was suppose to blog about my pre-Valentine date/conversation with Isa last Saturday but I don’t feel like doing it now. Maybe I’ll make it a post-Valentine treat instead. Waaaa.. I really feel so tired, I don’t know why. I hope next week will be better.
More of today’s events. The day went by as I expected. Flowers, balloons, surprises everywhere! I surprised Nox with a big write-up on white sheets of cartolina, because he was my Valentine kriskringle baby, who in turn, surprised Jess with a bouquet of flowers and a song. Aww.. *melts* I was suppose to hang/let the cartolina drop from the 2nd floor of Matteo and ask Nox to come out so he could see it, but pentel pen fail. 😐 Had I done that, Nox would probably have spent more than an hour trying to read the note. Someone surprised someone too but I don’t think I could talk about it here. Isa, thanks for helping me with Nox’s surprise. I enjoyed our Kamirori date. *heartheartheart* And speaking of Kamirori, Kamirori FTW! Thank you for introducing Kamirori to me, Favian. Creating new memories, right?
Going back to today, the day went by as I expected. I’ve spent all the Valentine’s days of my life the same way since birth. Alone, spectating, hoping for something to happen. But this year, I stopped hoping. I think all the years I’ve spent hoping, even if I had boyfriends, were enough. Nothing happened then, why think something will happen this year? I guess that was a part of why I felt so tired. Maybe I got tired of hoping too? But amidst the week I dreaded so much, a spring of hope. Kinda like a smile from a stranger during a very tiring day. I saw Charles and Cess on my way to the Heights open mic and I was asking for my flowers from Charles and chocolates from Cess. I was kidding, of course. Charles said he was suppose to get me one but Celadon ran out of roses. Then, they both hand me half a bar of Hershey’s Dark Chocolate. Hanapin mo yung half at soulmate mo siya, says Cess. Either way, I got chocolate today. Comfort fooooood. Yumyum. But that’s just the appetizer. I really felt so tired I couldn’t process what was going on anymore. I had pictures taken with Xianne, Nox, Gus, Sel, Franz before I forget then I told them I had to go. It’s my uncle’s birthday and they’re celebrating as early as tonight, so I had to be home early. I remember that walk to the parking lot. I was admiring the beautiful sky, the trees, how they fit so perfectly in God’s canvass entitled “Today.” The sky was blue, with light, feathery clouds scattered perfectly across it. The orange color showing ever so slightly as the sun began to set. It was a beautiful light blue/orange combination, not to mention the cool breeze that brushed through my body as I walked. Then, the unexpected.
Things happen when you least expect it. As I was walking along the brick road, in front of Faura, I heard a familiar voice call my me by my real name [Mrs. Uyham] :D. It was John Bonifacio. The fact that he called me Mrs. Uyham painted a faint smile on my face. I remember thinking hours before, “If I see Mike, I’ll be fine today.” I say hey, John approaches me and asks if I wanted a rose. He was holding several. I told him no, thank you. I had no money. Then he goes to me and says it’s okay and hands me a rose. It’s from me and my dad.
As I walked away, I felt my eyes welling up.
***
Don’t give up on me yet.
-Take Me Away, Lifehouse
The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
On December 19 a terrible tempest – a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the item s was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.
By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.
She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. “Pastor,” she asked, “Where did you get that tablecloth?”
The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.
The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria.
When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.
The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.
What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the
spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.
One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn’t leaving.
The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike.
He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.
The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman’s apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.
Things happen for a reason, that’s what the e-mail’s subject read. Which reminds me of my favorite GG episode. I remember feeling so sad for Lily and Rufus while watching this episode. It’s episode 10 of season one. It’s no secret that these two are still in love with each other and seeing Lily let go of the chance to spend time with Rufus upon seeing her daughter, Serena, happy, in the arms of her own love, Rufus’s son, Dan, just broke my heart. Take that with Apologize playing in the background and you’ve got yourself one-heck-of-a sad, sad, sad scene. Jump 23 episodes in the future and you’ll see these two together, happy too. After another marriage, a runaway kid, and more scandalous happenings, they finally get their time.
Everything happens for a reason.
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something
That I should’ve never thought.
-I Caught Myself, Paramore
Heartbroken ka. Itigil mo na yan. Wala na talaga. Ayan o, fool. Tama na. Maghanap ka na ng bago.
As much as this sounds like something I really must do, like something my friends would tell me instead of a fortune, I don’t know. I don’t want to believe these things. I don’t believe in stuff told by fortune tellers or psychics or whatever else they’re called. But it sounds like what I should really do. Ohhh, I don’t know.
This Friday will be the last. We’ll be real friends according to her but just friends. She said he already has someone while I still am single. That was the second time a psychic fortune teller told me we’d only be just friends and nothing more. Last-ditch effort.
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day.
-Come What May, Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor
I’m sure you’re all aware that this is Valentine’s week. Yes. That means flowers, hearts, chocolates, balloons and other lovey-dovey stuff left and right. I am actually boycotting the day of hearts (
stop, stop. I am not bitter) this year, which means, no love talk or thoughts the whole week. I just want to get this week over and done with. But before I could execute my boycott plan, I wanted to share something I got from yesterday’s service.With Valentine’s just around the corner, one can expect the Sunday message to be about love. True enough, it was. The priest said God created us with only half a heart. The other, He took with Him. So when we feel incomplete, the logical thing to do would be to find it in God. Because that’s where the other half of our heart is. But the thing is, we try to find it elsewhere. Even if we know who already has it, we still look for it in places we know we wouldn’t find it in. This Valentine’s, let’s stop looking for that complete feeling in places where we know we wouldn’t find it.
There. Sunday’s message. Valentine’s at the Gesu, anyone? May we find peace by the end of this week.
And before I stop talking, thinking, ranting, blogging about love, I’d like to wish two of my friends the best. Congratulations, you guys! Luff you both!
’til next week. 😉
Since someone you let in
Has given what I gave to you?
-Through With You, Maroon 5
when pigs & penguins fly.. 