*sighs* It just can’t be. At the end of the day, I know we were both just overwhelmed with each other’s presence. No matter how possible others think it is, I know in reality, it just isn’t. Star-crossed lovers isn’t the term but it’s something like that. Somehow I’m beginning to see what others have been seeing the past months: that we’re actually good together. And we actually are, even if we aren’t together. But that’s exactly it. I think what they think is true but between the two of us, I know we were just too thankful to have each other in every moment that we spend together that’s why people seem to think we’d be good together, but nothing more. Our hearts still seem to be caged by other people.
***
It’s so close but we’re so far away.
-We’re So Far Away, Mae
BACKGROUND:
It was around 3 o’clock in the morning when Cousin and I decided that we should both turn in for the night. As we both went under the blankie, a song from my iPod played. We’ve Only Just Begun by The Carpenters. After a few seconds, Cousin says she was scared of the song. Being the older one, I asked why first. It was a love song. Why would you be scared of a love song? She then proceeds to tell me that that song was repeatedly played in the movie 1408, which scared her. The conversation I’m about to share started after this little revelation.
ME: Really? I don’t remember.
COUSIN: Yeah, it is. It’s the song that was played over and over again.
ME: Really? I really don’t remember.
COUSIN: That’s the song that they played again and again whenever he repeated, he came back to the clean room.
ME: I don’t really remember this. All I remember is the sound effect. The dundundundun sound.
COUSIN: That’s the song talaga. Whenever he came back to the clean room.
ME: Cousin, it doesn’t ring any bell.
COUSIN: HINDI KASI BELL!
ME: O_O
*proceeded by five minutes of laughter, which thankfully, took away our scaredycat-ness*
***
Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down.
-Remember Me This Way, Jordan Hill
Despite my ever-growing and strong love and preference for Chinese boys, I know I’m just wasting my time. There’s the Great Wall, there’s the playboy attitude and there’s the Chinese are meant for Chinese. I’m not being racist but we must admit, in the end, we do choose the one we’re similar to. Blacks go for Blacks, Whites to Whites, beggars to beggars, and rich to rich. It’s a mean, vicious cycle the world revolves in. And that makes me sad.
Right now, I feel like all my cheesiness, romanticism and idealism are pouring out into the open because they’re just draining themselves out of my system. I really have this strong gut feeling that sooner than I thought, I will suddenly stop with all this romance, love crap. I hope it doesn’t happen but I just feel that it will. And it’s about to happen real soon. Signs are starting to pop out one by one. I know it’s still far ahead but I’m really scared, I’ve always been scared of being alone in life. Yet somehow, the thought doesn’t seem to bother me anymore nowadays. That’s gotta be Sign #2. Shit.
I may stop caring for all the guys in the world but Chinese boys will always have leverage. Even if it’s just .00000001% only. The fact that I’m letting go, slowly stopping the fight to find that Chinese guy who will love me, is a sure sign that something’s up with me. Damn, I don’t want to be a workaholic woman at age 22 and still be working at age 85. I don’t want my heart to clam up and never open again. That’s just not who I am yet I fear it’s what I’m becoming. I hope I don’t have to blog about completely shutting myself to love. I may still appear like the old me, with all the emo blogs and posts, but to be honest, they’re merely for my amusement only. That’s just sad and mean. This is not me.
***
I had to find just where you are.
-Love Remains the Same, Gavin Rossdale
Throughout the years and crazy sems, we always find ways to enjoy life.
Makakalimutan ba natin ‘to? 😀
SURPRISE!
Ang rami na natin pinagsamahan, hanggang sa dulo, tayo pa rin magkakasama. Mikee, where are you? Hahaha. Know that we’re very blessed and grateful that Diana Grace Galindez was born.
Because we simply can’t live without you.
Love you, bitch! (Lalo na’t kinokonsente mo kalokohan ko, hahaha)
Much love, 
***
I’m over you somehow
Only love knows how.
-Only Love, The Braxtons
I don’t want to say this to you and end up laughing. I honestly was a bit hesitant to send this to you through SMS because I’m not really sure what’ll happen after so I decided to type it instead. You’re very special and dear to me. I love and care for you so much, maybe even more than you’re thinking of. I’m really happy to have you in my life. And if in some strange, twist of fate, we do end up together, I’d get it too.
So there. Mahal na mahal kita. Kahit minsan di mukha, mahal pa rin kita. Wag mo kalimutan ‘yun.
And yes, this is for you. You know who you are. Sana lang mabasa mo. 🙂
***
You caught me off guard
Now I’m running and screaming.
-Hero/Heroine, Boys Like Girls
And I
Never let go
Never let go.
-Broken Sonnet, Hale
I thought I was just being bitter and over-reactive after the typhoons that plagued the metro but things proved themselves eventually. It wasn’t just me.
So this is how the ship’s going down?
You don’t have to be part of the problem.
-Stay, Gavin deGraw
when pigs & penguins fly.. 