He didn’t hug back.  He didn’t. 

Am I supposed to think of this as a good thing?  Does this mean anything?  Is this even worth thinking about?  But he was lying down on her lap.  On her lap. On the stone benches.  The same stone benches.

I saw them today.  In the study hall.  I was barely two feet away from him and her.  They were sitting down, laptop-ing or PSP-ing, I don’t know.  I wasn’t able to see clearly.  My head turned immediately after spotting them.  Reflex, I guess.  Looking away.  I went to Isa’s earlier than we talked about ’cause I needed to.  I just did.  She told me to rant, let it all out, and I did.  I was that girl a couple of months ago.  Then I told Greg about it earlier this evening and he said he always saw them together.  On the stone benches.  Why the stone benches?  Of all places, why’d it have to be the places we used to go to?  I know this may seem nothing to you but, I cherish those places.  All the places we’ve been to, places that used to be ours — the stone benches, the study hall steps and all the other steps and benches.  Our spots.  At least leave them to me.  To me alone.  I’ve always been generous with everything I’ve had and all I’m asking is for you to keep those places untouched.  This is the first time I’m being selfish about something so please, allow me to.  I want those places to be for me and only me.  Just this once, allow me to be selfish.

I asked Greg how she was, since I never got the chance to get a good look at her.  “She’s alright,” he said.  I asked him to be more specific.  You know me, you saw her. What can you say?  She was less emo, according to him but very touchy.  Figures.  He likes touchy girls.  “She hugs him.”  Wow, that fast?  She’ll never beat my first hug anyway, I know it.  Bitter much?  No.  Not really.  It’s just that she likes him a lot, I can tell!  She hugged him.  Really hugged him.  But according to Greg, he didn’t hug back.  Is that supposed to mean anything to me?  Should it?  Was she already flirting with him way back? When it was still me?  Oh, so many questions.  So many questions that need to be answered.  But the most important one, not necessarily the first, would be to know if she cares for you as much as I do.

On the lighter side of life, I had my picture taken with Kirk Long today. Haha.

***
Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don’t want to.
-Hard Habit to Break, Chicago

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