Anyway, I wanted to talk about something I got from House. Yes, after ages, I’ve finally gotten the chance to catch up on my series favorites, one of which is, House. It’s about something Cameron said in her conversation with
Wilson.“You think you’re making a rational choice. You think the worse is over. And then six months later you look back and you realize you didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Are you saying the pain doesn’t go away?”
“It gets easier. Not in to months. Not in two years. But no. It never really goes away.”
“Being here — this building..”
“I saw a guy wearing a scarf this morning. The color reminded me of his eyes. We lived 500 miles from here.”
“I have to do something.”
“Then do it. But don’t think it’s the right choice. Because there isn’t one.
I’ve found myself in a more emotional state right now than one, two, three, or even four months ago. I find myself crying more often now than in the past. Be it because I’m reminded of something, or just because something on TV is making me sad (dramas, reality shows, whatever stuff’s on). I’m the type people see as “someone they can see crying” but no one outside my family has ever really seen me cry. Heard maybe, and that was just one person. But no, I don’t like crying. The family members who’ve seen my cry are the only ones who’ve seen me in a very furious state for I only cry when I’m really, really, really angry. But now, the slightest of things make me teary-eyed. The color reminded me of his eyes — this is something that would only make me reminiscent. But now, something like this brings me nearly to tears. Ever since this whole family issue blew up, I’ve been such a crybaby. Dammit! Going back..It never really does go away. Sometimes you do feel a lot easier than the first time, but the pain, it’s still there. It never goes away. Not even for Christmas.
And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now.
-Wonderful World, James Morrison
when pigs & penguins fly.. 